Showing posts with label Marketing Rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marketing Rants. Show all posts

Saturday, May 18, 2013

InfographICK: the Sick Pick Collection


As a follow-up to my blog titled "Time to Diagnose and Cure InfographICK" over at The Digital Nirvana, I promised TDN readers examples of infographics that need help. To find samples, I entered the hashtag #infographic in TweetDeck and the ooze flowed. 


1. This one hurts because I love Zipcar even if Avis did buy them (sob!) -- but, honest guys, WTHeck is this?

2. Infographics are supposed to be graphic, so they should be at least partially understood in any language, right? Uh... maybe not.

3. Okay, I don't really hate this one… I just don't like it. I'd rather read the article.

4. Speaking of which, WHY is this an infogrpahic and not a bulleted list?

5. If I tell myself this isn't an infographic, I like it. 

6. Yeah, yeah. the Internet is BIG. And your point is?

7. This one isn't too bad. Why? Because it's really an article with clip art (remember clip art?) 

8. This is interactive and has the potential to be awesome, cool, fantastic. Except .. what? Unintelligible? 

9. Not a bad idea, just a terrible font in all caps. Bad. 

10. This, truly, is the darkest of the dark. Plus I have NO idea what it means. 

11. Just to prove I'm not a total curmudgeon, this one I like. It makes sense! You can get it in one glance. It's what infographics are supposed to do.. Well, yeah. It's Wired. But like we said: Quality infographics are difficult to do and, therefore, cost $$$$.

12. Short enough to be decent. Hurray. No long snake, garbble-gook here.

13. And here's another good one: colorful, quick, to the point ..plus the designer had the good sense to get out of the way and let these logos stand on their own. 

14. Feels right: appropriate colors, nice font, quick presentation, good pointers. 


-- scrubbed by MarketingBrillo





Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Can -- and Should -- Creativity Be Crowdsourced?

Crowdsourcing our own opinions and relying on others' is all the rage: Yelp, Angie’s List, Facebook Likes -- apparently, we won’t buy anything unless we consult to see if groups of strangers think it’s okay.

Crowdsourcing, first name-tagged in a 2006 Wired magazine article, has infiltrated the creative arts, too.

For instance, the Japanese are heavily into keitai shosetsu -- thumb novels written by collaborating hoards of teenagers and 20-somethings who knock out romance novels and crime thrillers via mobile phone texting.

The trend to crowdsourcing film has been tested in the Netherlands. The Dutch filmmaker who undertook this effort said, “We wanted to make a movie that shows the opinion of the public, created by the public, on a subject that concerns every tax-payer: The bankruptcy of DSB Bank in the Netherlands (2009) … We did not have any budget. Lucky us, we have an excellent … social system in the Netherlands.”

Mashable demonstrated the possibilities of creative crowdsourcing when it featured “10 Cool Crowdsourced Music Video Projects.” Similar collaborative projects have popped up at Fashion Stake, communal problem-solver Innocentive, photo sharing site Flickr Creative Commons, and Wiki-Art.

Naturally, somebody saw the dollar signs in crowdsourcing. In Chicago, the enterprise Crowdspring.com has sprung.These online marketing folks allude to crowdsourcing in their name, but others describe the process as a worldwide contest wherein folks in the creative arts (design, website development, writing) are invited to “work for spec” and, if they’re lucky (?), be chosen to actually work on a project and get paid. Chances of being chosen and getting paid are very slim, say detractors – and some (like Brian Yerkes) who have participated are, frankly, furious.

In a Nutshell, Please: Can Creativity Be Crowdsourced?
Garrick Schmitt addressed that question exactly in AdAgeDigital in 2009. Garrick concludes: "For agencies, crowdsourcing forces us to re-examine how great work gets produced and where the best talent resides ... For marketers, crowdsourcing creative services poses both great risks and rewards ... And finally, for the industry as a whole ... time will tell."

Point Is, There's Crowdsourcing and Then There's Working for Free
In his article, Garrick came up with some excellent examples of creative crowdsourcing, as has econsultancy. In many of these examples -- though not all -- true sharing and collaboration occurs when participants group together in a common pursuit. A different scenario emerges when dozens (or hundreds) of folks of all ilk compete fiercely, investing time and resources in pursuit of a positive outcome that only one will ever enjoy.

And, now, for MarketingBrillo's Final Word ...
Crowdsourcing for creative inspiration and a good time? Definitely yes.
Crowdsourcing spec work in hopes of landing a job or getting cheap work? Definitely stupid, probably exploitative.

More Resources For Deciding How You Feel About Crowdsourcing
As for whether crowdsourcing can work for commercial enterprises looking for publicity, this report demonstrates that effective crowd sourcing requires 1) a crowd, 2) incentives, and 3) an easy project.

For an authoritative voice on the economics and ethics of crowdsourcing, check out writer/designer/entrepreneur/Ironman competitor Andrew Hyde's various blog posts on the subject (alert: Andrew thinks spec work is evil, period.)

For more info on what’s new in crowdsourcing, see The Complete Idiot’s Guide here.

-- scrubbed by MarketingBrillo

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Guy Kawasaki told me how to be enchanting. I don't think I'm fast enough.

During today's webinar to promote his new book, Enchantment, Guy Kawasaki talked about achieving success by being likeable, trustworthy, and great. But during the Q&A, Kawasaki said something that struck me as preposterous. “To enchant your wife, do everything she asks you to do -- and do it quickly.” Okay, maybe it does work for some people, but if you don't have that particular fetish, who's enjoying? So, yeah, that left me wondering ...

Still, Kawasaki is a big deal, being an early Apple and all, so I'll share the following points that came out during the Q&A.

• Stemming from his enchantment advice to "engage quickly, engage many people, and engage them often, Kawasaki says, "Answer your email within 24-48 hours; that separates you from most people."

• Constantly push out links on Twitter. Retweet often and on a range of interesting topics. Facebook is different, he says. The key to Facebook is constantly pushing out pictures.

• How long does it take to enchant someone? “I would say two minutes, or in about that order of magnitude," he says, noting that, like it or not, we have 60 seconds to enchant someone. If we mess up we can enchant them later, but only if we're willing to help them upon request and immediately (why am I smelling leather again?)

• Kawasaki acknowledges that not everyone can be enchanted. "If you are going to be enchanting, you will definitely make some people angry." For example, if someone is transparent, a quality Kawasaki recommends, some people might not like them. Live with it.

• How can we know if we're enchanting someone? "If someone is giving you a smile back, then they are probably enchanted by you. Also, if you ask them to do something, will they do it? If so, they are enchanted." (But how fast will they do it? That seems to be the key; yes, yes, I'm struggling with this. I admit it.).

• Who enchants Guy himself? His Enchantment Hall of Fame includes Andrew Zimmern, Queen Latifah, Istanbul, and the MacIIci. Best book ever? If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland.

• Product development advice? Conduct a pre-mortem exercise wherein you take the collective reason of the group to come up with all the reasons something might fail. You need a formal pre-mortem because an informal invite to “share your opinion” will make people hesitate. And it only works when the boss says, “What are the hypothetical reasons we could fail?” Actually, this sounds fun, although after this exercise, you might have to do quite a few things very quickly to appease the boss.

• In a situation when your boss and client disagree, it's hard, but you're not off the hook. In a situation like this, you have to enchant both of them (Kawasaki never said this would be easy).

Conclusion: a) Please don't do everything I tell you quickly, especially if I've been drinking; b) I had a Mac IIfx and I'm pretty sure that was the best Mac ever; c) You win. I do want to read Ueland's book.

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Friday, April 1, 2011

When It Doesn’t Make Sense, It Doesn’t Make Sense

I ran across a new “marketing idea” today (short version: Ecko wants people to body-tatoo its brand wherever). I hate it. I mean there are problems here.

Never mind that the Tattooed One may decide Ecko is OUT like yesterday’s polyester. What if Ecko spies its brand on a serial killer or, worse yet, a dog groomer? What about THAT “permanent solution,” folks?

And yet… sickened as I am, I do sense a marketing gem in this wacky idea: To wit: take two utterly disparate practices/notions/idiocies and put them together .. permanently. My mind races to disparate connections …

SmartCars and tapioca; mobile phones and Crazy Glue; lawn chairs and Petri dishes; Mooshu Pork and hair spray; aging skin and Michelin tires (wait.. have you seen Rubber?).

And this is just what I came up with in 22 seconds? Imagine what a marketing TEAM could devise.

I see it. I do. An Ecko logo somewhere on Snooki. (Hey, I never said this was going to make sense, right?)

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Dear Professor: Facebook Is the Digital Equivalent of “Kiss Kiss.” It is Not Human Connection.

Having mothered two teenagers, I read the New York Times article about parental fury aimed at teenagers, with interest. Only when I got to the last paragraph, however, did I find the nugget that prompted (no, compelled) me to write this blog.

To quote: “Amid the debate about whether social networks are depriving us of healthier, non-virtual encounters, a University of Texas study last fall claimed that Facebook was not supplanting such interactions.”

Hmm... So what – in the researcher’s own words -- did the University of Texas reportedly find out? Just this: “Contrary to popular opinion, Facebook is making us more social, [emphasis added] albeit in ways unique to the digital age.”

Sorry, Associate Professor S. Craig Watkins, I don’t even know what that means. Whose “popular opinion”? What “digital age”? Most glaringly, how are you defining “more social”? HELP!

The entire conclusion must be hogwash. It's certainly nonsense unbefitting a Phd-carrying associate professor of radio-TV-film at the University of Texas. I’m not buying what you're selling – and for good reason.

The source of the research is 900 Facebook users who are current college students and recent college graduates. What the heck did we expect these profoundly biased “research participants” to say about their Facebook activity? Of course they agreed they were primarily on FB to be “connected and involved” with their peers and family. What other conceivable reason might be offered?

Talk about asking the inmates what they love about the asylum! Hello?

Can we please define “connected and involved”? Please? Puh-leeeeeze? I mean that is the point, for Pete’s sake.

Look a little closer and you’ll find that this study actually underscores that social media has replaced face-to-face conversations, telephone calls, drop-in visits, even one-to-one email. And that pretty much leaves a lot of college-aged Facebook users with fewer (probably significantly fewer) non-sexual*, in-flesh, touching, seeing, hearing, smelling, and feeling interactions with other human beings.

Keyboard interface is not human interaction. Go there if you must, but let’s not pretend Facebook is human interaction and don’t insist that it has us “connected to and involved” with our friends and family. Au contraire, mon ami. Just like the Housewives of Beverly Hills, Facebook enables us to “kiss kiss” hello and goodbye. I can't say this won't be the new reality. But, for Pete's sake, let's not, surrealistically, pretend a cow's not a cow.

* My inclusion of “non-sexual” interaction here is purposeful, since college-student sexual activity itself is tending to the impersonal, as noted in this study of binge drinking and sex by another University of Texas prof. I suspect that thisdrinking/sex trend reflects the same ineptitude for genuine human interaction that’s reflected in Facebook activity.

p.s. You can download the Facebook study pdf. But don’t expect to learn anything that a mother of a teenager doesn’t already know.

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Hey, I'm a "brand journalist." Who knew?

I'm happy to be myself, but I avoid talking about myself on this blog. Forgive me. I'm a little excited right now. This morning, I attended Ann Handley's seminar dedicated to the notion that Content Rules. This morning I learned a new name for what I do.

I am a "brand journalist."

This is a term Ann threw out during the Q&A, when somebody asked how a small organization can possibly "do it all" -- website, blog, social media, content curation and management, etc. Ann's answer was to hire a "brand journalist." Why? Because this is the person who has the skills specific to the accelerating demand for corporate and nonprofit content.

The specific skills of a brand journalist blend marketing, PR, and journalism and include the following attributes:

1. The ability to analyze and identify the needs of the audience for whom content is created.

2. A skill for writing fresh, authoritative, but also conversational, friendly, and approachable stories.

3. A penchant for show-don't-tell writing that's easy to read and accessible to many reader segments.

4. An understanding of and experience with all the ways to present content: blogging, articles, video, podcasting, slidesharing, etc.

5. Knowing how to "reimagine" content, which means, perceiving how to rethink, recreate, and rewrite current material to meet multiple cross-platform needs.

6. A writing style that builds momentum and can take the reader along to the next step or action.

Several weeks ago, I set up a new blog titled Brands That Share, so Ann's word choice was an exciting moment for me. I heard the new role of brand journalism defined exactly as I have been envisioning it.

My next blog will share other takeaways from this seminar. But, for now, I just need to say it: I'm a brand journalist!

And thank you for listening!

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo



Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Social Media Steroids: We’ve Never Met, so Why Are You Sending Me Family Pics?

I’m not sure why I’m on Kirsten Gillibrand’s email list. I live in Virginia, not New York. Kirsten and I have never been introduced (and, yes, I am entitled to use her first name because, this morning, she used my first name first) .. as in:

Nancy,

I hope you enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving with your friends and family. It's always a special time in our house, and the boys just love to help out in the kitchen. Just had to share with you this photo of Henry, Theo and me making an apple pie from scratch -- it doesn't get much better.

Best,
Kirsten

Embedded in the email was the photo of her and the boys.

Kirsten ran for the Senate in New York. She won. I hope she won on her experience, intellectual merits, knowledge of politics in the Empire State, integrity, and commitment to her constituents’ interests.

This email and this photo have nothing to do with any of those things. Is this what social media means? If so, I'm anti-social.

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Best Idea for 2011. It’s Easy As Pie, But I Bet You Aren’t Doing It.

Margaret Farmakis writing for Return Path posted the question, “Is Email Sexy?” She then offered three reasons why email is sexy and three reasons why it’s not.

Margaret's article is quite good but I think one of the reasons she cited for email's allure is misleading -- namely, our ability to dialog with it.

Fact is, most of the time it's pretty difficult to dialog with email -- at least in the case of most content-rich email coming from corporate and information-delivery sources. That's a shame, because those content-rich emails are exactly the ones readers want to chat with.

In my June 29 Marketing Brillo blogpost titled “Auto Stealth: THIS Is the Top Marketing Idea of the Year,” I touted the brilliance of an email I got from Tim Pitts at Trendwatching.com. Why did I love it? Because it appeared to be from Tim to me (and only me) and because it invited my input.

The bulk of the email I get comes from the webmaster (whoever the heck she is). I checked my “electronic newsletter” folder to confirm that this is true. It is. I’ve also got entities writing me who are named newsletter, workforce, social media, reply, ncreply2, support, and editorinchief (a slight improvement in that this appears to be an actual human being .. or at least an avatar).

Margaret says, “A one-way conversation is never sexy. A dialog that elicits a response definitely is. Email enables marketers to create a dialog with their subscribers, customers and prospects.”

Maybe, except "webmaster" keeps getting in the way.

Could this be a workable New Year’s Resolution for marketers -- to send customers an email they can respond to? I mean -- if under the new model -- everything else is going social, why do you suppose email is so darn .. well, one-sided?

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Political Fundraising Annoyances (and I Know It’s Not Just Me)

In the 2008 election, I was an active supporter of my political party. I gave money, volunteered, and “answered the call.” In the current election, not so much. I’m still going to vote my party, to be sure, but mostly because the other guys scare the hell outta me. In other words, it’s no longer passion for my party (actually, I’m an Independent) as much as how detestable the other side is. But I digress…

This blog post is about the naughty way my party is pursuing its fundraising. First, I’m on “I-don’t-know-how-many” call lists. “Telefund” shows-up on caller ID every day, usually twice. I get emails, too. Lots of them – from past presidents, congressional leaders, senators – even wives of politicians (no children so far, but that wouldn’t surprise me). I’m tired of it, you know?

Maybe that’s why, today, I relented and donated $25 to one of the appellants (please forgive my misuse of the word; I couldn’t resist). Within 30 seconds I had received a thank-you email (of course), and then -- lickety-split -- two additional email appeals. A minute later, a telefund call came in from a number in the same geographic region of the country that my politician represents. Coincidence? I think not.

And you know what? I don’t like it. I just did something you asked me to do and before the path to the front door was cool, you were coming back in, asking me to do something else.. and something else… and something else.

That’s bad manners. Cross media? Yes. Cross donor? Yes again. It may be good direct marketing, but, then again, maybe it isn’t. I'm a loyal customer and you made me mad. How good can it be?

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Joaquin Phoenix and the Nature Of Truth in 2010

I saw “I’m Still Here” last weekend and came away convinced it was not a “hoax.” When I learned this morning that this film is total fabrication, I couldn’t believe it. I had gone into the theatre with an open mind and came away convinced that I had actually observed a human being having a mental breakdown. How stupid could I have been?

But here it is. Casey Affleck, director and documentarian (apparently mockumentarian) of Joaquin Phoenix’s breakdown told Roger Ebert the “real story.” It was all an acting job.

How is this possible? Does it matter? Who cares?

It is possible, it matters a great deal, and anybody in the “communication” biz had better care because this is what can happen – and maybe does far more than we imagine -- when the media, the consumers of media, and the creators of media gather.

I mean what IS real? If somebody like Joaquin Phoenix or Sacha Baron Cohen can “go into character” for long periods of time and fool everybody who’s not in on the joke – including self-promoter extraordinaire, Sean “Puff Daddy Diddy” Combs – what the heck does reality have to do with anything anymore?

If you’re in the marketing business – or if you live on Planet Earth – here are the troubling questions that Joaquin has thrown at us:

  1. Is reality TV really real, or are these folks all “acting”?
  2. Do people who star on reality TV become real (in other words, do they soon begin to believe their own nonsense?)
  3. How are politicians of the day any different from method actors, drenched in their roles? Has Sarah Palin become who she wasn’t, but now is? What does that say about a leader “we can believe in”?
  4. If the media, too, can be fooled, can we believe anything that we see or hear, or read in the media?
  5. If the media has become the distributor of stories, games, and propaganda, what do we need it for? Do we care?
  6. Does “success” merely lie in the ability to deceive for a purpose?
  7. Do consumers any longer care whether or not an event is true or if any person is really what they are representing?

There’s a lot to think about here and if this story doesn’t get our communal brain into high gear, we are indeed fiddling.

-- scrubbed by MarketingBrillo

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Are "Free Content" Consumers Our Lab Rats?

In my Internet wanderings I came across a blog written by an anonymous guy who calls himself MrHeretic. Considering the stuff he’s posting, it’s no wonder he’s afraid to be identified. In a poignant post titled “You Killed Market Research,” MrHeretic condemns a series of practices that he thinks have written the obituary for market research.

I’m wondering how much of this heretical finger-pointing should be applied to marketing generally and, more specifically, to so-called “content marketing” within the direct marketing industry. Here’s what I mean.

Direct marketers are now buried in the Malthusian multiplication of online “content.” Increasingly, the “information” we’re fed may not be “information” at all, but rather a poorly disguised grab for our information. That might be okay, except much of what we get in return is awful offal.

You already know how the shill works. Whether it’s a whitepaper, webinar, webcast, video, podcast or simply access to an article, you must register to see it. Some would argue that’s a fair exchange. Amid the demand for open, transparent communication I, personally, would disagree, but willing trade or not, many of MrHeretic’s principles seem to apply to the development, dissemination, and data gathering tactics driving this “content” giveaway.

Obviously, service providers who openly share industry information deserve our thanks. Direct marketing has become increasingly complicated by integrated and multi-channel efforts and we all want to know what is working for others. What do “best practices” look like? What have we tried that didn’t work? How can we adapt to so much change? What does the future hold? Who can help us? The search for answers to these questions has made participation on LinkedIn’s direct marketing-related groups explode. We need each other and, if you know “something about something,” I will love your blog, appreciate your knowledge, and maybe even decide to work with you.

Meanwhile, a different response to our thirst for guidance has launched an avalanche of “bastardized information,” the primary purpose of which is to both beguile us and get our data. Are your in-boxes stuffed with this junk info, too? Here’s one example.

A respected industry resource uses its reader email list to push out content that vendors have paid them to distribute to us. So what’s wrong with that? Some might say it’s no different than receiving a piece of direct mail from an insurance company simply because we subscribe to The Wall Street Journal. What can I say? It feels different. Wait, darn it! It is different.

What comes to my inbox from a respected information resource suggests to me that any information they deliver has been vetted for value, right? Not so when money alone will get that information delivered to me. Not so, when the distributor isn’t telling me the “information” is “advertorial” or “product placement.”

Bottomline: I trusted you and you sold me out. Or, to edit MrHeretic a wee bit, “You killed [the value of your content] when you treated respondents like lab rats.”

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Today's NEW Marketing Report (For Today Only)

Saturday's email and Twit-fodder spotlighted trends in today's marketing ("today" being April 17; this will all change tomorrow).

1. We've gone to the movies.. the SHORT movies. Meet the irresistible Loic Le Meur and his report of YouTube mastery. Loic describes himself as a "French entrepreneur who lives in San Francisco, and is founder of Seemic and LeWeb conference." Loic told Twitter followers that he's posting a new YouTube daily, getting 3,000 hits a day, and has logged 1.7 million views. I believe it. This guy rocks (today). See a sample here.

2. Coupons Are Selling Us Out. Comrade Gabe Goldberg linked to a New York Times article that reported on information-gathering (some might say "spying") capabilities of online coupon vendors. If you're inclined to paranoia, don't read this -- especially the part that says barcodes on some of these coupons have the user's Facebook information embedded. (Does that include the office party photos? Ooops.)

3. Banks Want To Talk To Us. Well, they don't really want to talk to us; they want to "connect" with us online. (No, not in line; they don't want to talk to us at all in line. Online. Get it?) The Marketing Vox reports that banks are turning to social media to make "real, live" connections with customers. The horse left through the barn door long ago on that one, guys, but ... Bank of America's is reportedly using "many different strategies" to build -- or rebuild -- conversations with customers. (I suggest checking in with Frank Eliason, who's tweeting as "comcastcares" to see how that's working out.)

4. Social Media Friends Aren't All That. Writing on SmartBlog, Jesse Stanchak reports on Edleman's 2010 survey that says peers trust one another 20% less than they did in 2008. Edelman blames the recession, but Stanchak says social media may have redefined whom we consider peers, to wit: "The challenge is clear: We have a long way to go in understanding how relationships are formed, what they’re based on and how influence spreads. For now, we only know that consumers are becoming more discerning." (And just when we thought it was safe to go on Twitter...)

Speaking of social media gone bad, could "live, present, and in person" be the hot new secret marketing weapon? You heard it here first. And that's enough shocking news for one day.

--scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Hapless Request from Newbie Magazine Fires Up A Storm of Vitrol

Angelia W., magazine publisher, surely had no clue what she was asking when she invited a group of freelance writers on LinkedIn's "Writers' Showcase" group to send articles to her recently re-launched women's magazine. Angelia was looking for "experienced writers," but was "currently unable to provide compensation." Correct. She wanted us to work for free.

The group administrator cut off the outrage at 13 comments, but the group made several points worth repeating.

Freelance writer, Arlie MacGregor, said, "Apparently, the magazine industry is different from the rest of the business world in that they expect employees to work for free and line the owner's pockets. If this were any other business 'just re-launching,' such as a restaurant, legal firm, gas station, retail store, etc., asking for free labour would be unthinkable (and covered on the local news no doubt)."

Writer/journalist/editor/visual artist Andrew Brooks added his two cents: "Arlie, I've often wondered why the mag industry is plagued with this 'no-pay' approach when it wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else. I think the problem might be that most people think anyone can write. After all, we all have to write at some point, even if it's just a grocery list or directions to a house. 'So how hard can it be??'"

Arlie took exception, saying, "We make it easy for them to offer 'exposure' for our hard work .. To the publishers out there who are 'just starting, launching, organizing, structuring, etc.' -- People die of exposure .. If you can't pay professional writers, prepare to get your hands dirty and do the work yourself. If that sounds like too much work, it's because it is work."

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Techno Trauma Can Be Deadly. Got A Cure?

Marketing Brillo doesn’t like to whine, but let’s be realistic. A lot of people in this marketing/PR business – and most other industries – are technologically traumatized.

Every day -- simply in the process of doing our jobs -- we must deal with software, hardware, peripheral, cell phone, netbook, operating system, networking, and – increasingly – Internet glitches. Here’s a short sample from the last 24 hours (Marketing Brillo is not making this up).

• Wary of the phishing scams that invaded Twitter direct messages yesterday, I applied my IQ to changing my password. Whatever I typed in (and Twitter accepted twice) didn’t work this morning. That affected Tweetdeck, of course, which might have been obvious to others, but took me awhile to figure out. Password Perplexia: 30 minutes.

• This morning I tuned in to my first virtual conference: The Social CRM Summit hosted by Lithium. I had pretested my system (15 minutes, last week), but when it came time to listen, my freshly downloaded Real Player wasn’t working and had to be REinstalled. No surprise there: Real Player is one of the worst bits of technology ever thrust upon us, a plague dating back 10 years and still leaving scars. Real Player Rash: 16 minutes.

• Safari wouldn’t play nice with the virtual world, so I switched to Firefox, which also asked to be rebooted from Post Real Player Rash: 5 minutes

• Once I got into my virtual conference, I wanted to upload my photo/avatar. I had lots of little gifs on my computer, but they were all too big. A trip to Photoshop fixed the Image Impetigo: 10 minutes.

• Since it was a holiday, I thought I should invest in my Marketing Brillo Facebook fan page. “Please fan me” invites to friends and family, aka Fan Funk: 38 minutes.

• Lately, my printer has taken to power surging, momentarily taking the Starship Enterprise (Marketing Brillo’s workspace) down with it. Testing Tendinitis: 7 minutes.

• Distractions from the evil Adobe Updater interfered with system performance: Updater Upchuck: 9 minutes

By noon, I was 115 minutes down and out with Techno Trauma. For most of us sick with technology, there’s nobody to call, no immediately apparent solution, no “getting it finally fixed.” Techno Trauma simply mutates, living on to exhaust us another day.

If we are working longer hours, part of our effort is expended dealing with technology that either doesn’t work or needs to be tweaked. Technology isn’t going away, so Marketing Brillo thinks it’s about time that American Commerce recognizes this very real and viral drain on human resources.

Meanwhile, thank you, Social CRM Summit for giving me the best frontline defense against Techno Trauma: Education. My Real Player Rash is fading.

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Friday, September 18, 2009

Words To Prove That We Truly Are “Mad As Hell”


The current Time magazine features the very rude Glenn Beck sticking his tongue out at all of us.

If you've seen the British indie In the Loop, you've been subjected to (and fabulously entertained by) the best rants, roils, and creative obscenities ever put to screen (Alert: this clip is not for those who faint at the f-word).

And then there’s the Racketeer Serena Williams, who’s promised to continue grunting and arguing no matter what it costs her; the Rapper Kanye West, whose mic grabber performance has resulted in a a slew of knock-off rants; not to mention The Republican Joe Wilson who either embarrassed or delighted you, depending on where you stand on the rudeometer.

Going forward, Marketing Brillo is expecting an exploding pack of mad dogs to seek the noon day sun. To help us along the way, here are some annoying, infuriating, exasperating, galling, irritating, maddening, mortifying, pestilential, pernicious, provoking, vexatious, charged, disquieting, disturbing, inflammatory, mind-blowing, perturbing, piquant, ravishing, unsettling, ranting, blustering, bombastic, diatribal, fustian, philippic, vociferous, wicked words for your next tirade, harangue, rant, spurt, or claptrap. Have fun!

p.s. The good news is that maybe we’re too angry ourselves to pay for celebrity venom. Glen Beck has been bleeding advertising bucks.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I’m Really Big and I’m Here To Help You

Banks and Big-Time Internet Service Providers are powerful entities. Thank heavens they’re here to help us.

The New York Times reports that banks are protecting us from ourselves by charging large fees when we inadvertently over-draft our debit cards. One poor guy paid $238 in extra charges -- $34 per transaction -- when he mistakenly charged mini-amounts on seven transactions. The banks and credit unions call their helpful fees overdraft “protection” … you know, because it’s good for us.

Comcast and Verizon have both rolled out DNS redirect “service,” a process that takes us to one of their own search engine pages (with advertising, of course) when we mistype a url into our browser. Presumably, we are all too busy to deal with the standard Internet 404-error message, so the practices are for our own benefit. Comcast modestly calls their program Domain Helper. Verizon has tagged their browser hi-jacking practice DNS Assistance.”

Cell phone companies also are part of the helpful crowd. Need to add a line? They make it super easy by almost giving away expensive devices like the Blackberry or the Google Phone. All you have to do is promise to stay with them for another two years. There’s more! Next year, big phone makers will start selling phones with universal cell phone chargers. Hurray! … Wait… the standardized chargers will be compatible only with data-enabled European phones. But I’m sure there’s a helpful reason why Americans can't have this service yet. Maybe it's to protect our "cell phone charger choice options."

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Customer Service: Be Good When You’re Big

Comcast was a thorn in my side from its first intrusion a decade ago. I needed its high bandwidth like I needed electricity and water. Back then, Comcast was the only game in town, so I went with Comcast.

Their monopoly reigned for years and the service ups and downs were legend. Once I had no reliable service for a month. Finally, I got relief by complaining to the utility commissioner. He got involved only because that particular problem featured a cable that was supposed to have been buried, but which snaked its orange way across my yard for weeks. The rest of my dozens of complaints were a crap shoot.

If you have Comcast, you know this story all too well: long waits to talk to a customer service person; dropped phone calls; distant appointments; four-hour windows in which you need to take off work and wait, followed by technicians who don’t fix the problem, or worse, technicians who don’t even show up. I had to pay my bill on time every month, of course. “You need us more than we need you” -- that was the Comcast attitude. It still is the attitude in areas where Comcast remains a monopoly. Except now there's FIOS -- and along with FIOS comes a new Comcast … a Comcast that “cares.”

How dumb do you think we are?

Frank Eliason on Twitter is one big whoop to me. Ditto the East Division Inside Sales Manager, who sent me a letter yesterday, telling me that his "#1 job is to help small businesses" like mine. Hey, Dave. I’ve got FIOS and I’m never going back. And anybody who’s ever had Comcast will leave as soon as they possibly can – permanently.

My ten closest friends and family loathe you, Comcast. I’ve talked to dozens of others over the years who burn with the same hot rage at the mention of your name. There’s a lesson here and it’s so simple it’s embarrassing. Don’t start playing nice when times get tough, because customers not only remember, they resent.

Do be good when you’re big, even if you don’t have to. Because, actually, you do have to.

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Monday, June 29, 2009

Something To LOVE About Commercial Marketing

Jason Falls’ blog this morning noted that tolerating commercials is the “price of admission” to the free entertainment and information we crave. If we increasingly reject commercials and ads as fair exchange for content, we may be locking ourselves into somebody else’s notion of what’s fair to pay (some venture capitalist’s, for example, or some technology mastermind’s idea). Facebook is a case in point.

In February this year, users were furious when Facebook tried to “update” its terms of use. Although the new terms didn’t much change what had always been true – namely, that Facebook pretty much owns all the data posted there – users were offended. Fred Vogelstein’s article last week in Wired magazine illuminated the controversy further.

The nugget in Vogelstein’s article lay in this paragraph: “Hardly any of [a user’s] Facebook information turns up on a Google search, because all of it, along with similar details about the other 200 million Facebook users, exists on the social network's roughly 40,000 servers. Together, this data comprises a mammoth amount of activity, almost a second Internet. By Facebook's estimates, every month users share 4 billion pieces of information—news stories, status updates, birthday wishes, and so on. They also upload 850 million photos and 8 million videos. But anyone wanting to access that stuff must go through Facebook; the social network treats it all as proprietary data, largely shielding it from Google's crawlers." And now comes the Facebook Business Page, which -- under pressure not to get "left out of" the newer, better social media advertising -- many are adopting as an augment to or replacement for the costlier, but proprietary, corporate website.

Do I care? Actually, I do.

On Google, I go where I want, tolerating Google ads as I go or using some other “free” search engine. Fair Enough. But Facebook! Here’s a single repository of personal information about 200 million people – all of it gathered without most users having given any thought whatsoever to the company’s ultimate intentions or ability to use that information (who reads those “terms of agreement,” really? Likely, not the 45% of users 25 and younger.. likely few of us).

What will Facebook decide to do with all this captive data, surreptitiously gathered (buyer beware, sucker!), and to which no other entity has access (except maybe a favored politician or the “government”)? That’s a kind of “marketing” I don’t want any part of.

Back in the day, when television was young and fresh, t.v. commercials were as much fun to watch as the shows themselves. But we grew tired, so the marketers got smarter and t.v. ads got better. Today, commercials on the small screen (and, yes, annoyingly, now on the big screen, too) are mini-movies, some of them fabulously written, directed, and acted. Meanwhile, we continue to take for granted the hundred-plus years of ingenious copy, photography, and design that artfully graces the pages of great magazines like Vogue, Vanity Fair, and The New Yorker. Apple’s television introduction of the Mac at the 1984 Superbowl was memorable and is historic. And – as much as we like to criticize “junk mail” – we’ve all seen direct mail campaigns good enough to persuade us to give a stranger our money (again and again). That’s pretty impressive.

So, before we rush to judgment against “marketing,” let’s acknowledge both its creativity and its enormous contribution to the democratic spread of information.And that’s important, this word democratic: It means everybody can afford it and nobody gets shut out because they can’t afford to pay for commercial free television, TiVo, or “premium” access to this or that website.

Let’s be willing to trade a little time for what we want, while always applying pressure for better marketing (as opposed to no marketing at all). And, finally, let’s be careful about greedily taking what’s free now, in exchange for turning over to any corporate entity later, our right to choose.

- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Friday, June 26, 2009

Will Dunbar’s Number Crush Our Social Media Homies?

Disclosure: I can't get enough of Dunbar's Number. What in heaven's name is really happening here at this intersection of mathematics, anthropology, sociology, neuroscience, Grey's Anatomy and Twitter?

Some research aristocrats warn us not to rely on Wikipedia, but what the heck? I think the pedia’s definition of Dunbar’s Number is as good as any, to wit: Dunbar's number is a theoretical cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships." Already, I'm worried about this "stable" thing, but let's move on.

Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist at the University of London, tagged this number of manageable, stable, social relationships at 150. But there also was a caveat. In order to maintain our cohesive community of 150, Dunbar said the group would need to budget 42% of its time for “social grooming.” That’s a lot of flea pickin'. Lucky for us humans, we've got language, the yakety-yak of which can substitute for hands-on primate grooming.

Even luckier for Tweeters, language is our stock in trade. Since we speak in efficient 140-character spurts, we can “tweet groom” a lot of people. On the other hand, we need to read a lot in order that we might engage in the more exalted “REtweet groom” or even the "direct" groom. (Okay, maybe 42% of our day isn't so far off the mark after all).

So, Tweeple, how’s it working’ for ya? As far as I can tell, it depends on whom we ask.

Christopher Allen gets into the statistical dimension of Dunbar more deeply, but still seems to come down to Dunbar’s maximum of 150 participants, even for online communities. Allen also notes that even beyond a measly (my word) 80 people the “noise level created by required socialization becomes an issue.” If you've ever watched Jerry Springer, you know what Allen means.

Andrew Mager, on the other hand, is pretty sure the social web allows a much greater number of friendsters. People's brains are evolving to accommodate more massive input, he theorizes. (Note: Theories like these are why I belong to the neuroscience Twibe, in hopes of keeping up with brain research).

Meanwhile Chris Brogan takes a practical approach, suggesting that, if we can only deal with 150 people, a good strategy is to count within our 150 few, people who are themselves tied into other influential groups of 150. A sort of "chain groom," if you will.

Business journalist Andrew Wee, however, is already hurting from social media. He calls “getting on Facebook quite a painful experience.” Wee decries being hit by irrelevant application invites and multiple people sending the same invites to the same app over and over again, “which means you could be spending 15-30 minutes each day just getting rid of application requests.” I know, I know, Mr. Wee. But, if you think Facebook is bad, take a look at the even more chaotic GoogleWave. (On second thought, don't. My neuro-psychiatrist says this many messages within messages within messages could lead to synapse collapse.)

Wayne Porter, co-founder at Meme Science, says that “marketers lose by not working with mirco-sized players who really can influence people.” I wasn't sure how small my player should be -- is 4'2" about right? -- but he clarifies: “The real value from social networking platforms are the relationships forged and conversations to be had. Facebook applications or RPGs are great for this, but one should keep Dunbar’s number in mind. This is especially prudent in high immersion environments, like Second Life, where nothing seems to scale.” (Did he say second life? Did he? Did he really say that?)

I know I shouldn't, but I must ask the following final question, because really, architecture should be part of this serious conversation, too! So -- if mapped out geographically -- would the pattern of my own – and your -- Dunbar’s Numbers be shaped like a spiral? Just wondering ...

- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

Friday, June 12, 2009

Trashing, Bashing, and Slashing: The Horrors of Social Media

1. Divorce attorneys haunt Facebook and Twitter for dirty little secrets and spouse trashing.

2. Bash Tweets and hate blogs force some artists offline.

3. Tire slashing in the UK, job slashing at the university of Iowa, and price slashing at Franklin Covey typify some of the less violent slash tweets in a 24 hour period. Verify yourself with a "slashing" Twitter search.

Meanwhile, as our brain’s fear circuitry overpowers its ability to reason, social media broadcasts a jillion worrisome thoughts and spreads fear psychosis.

No wonder we’re all dying to curl up in an Xbox and play Natal.

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo