Saturday, September 12, 2009

Saturday Workout: I Defy Any Editor To Make Sense of This Article

I struggled with how to bring this example of supremely BAD writing up for scrutiny. I don't like to point public fingers, but really... I mean really. Am I the only one who thinks this writing is totally unintelligible? And doesn't this stand as the perfect example of what not to do?

If you're afraid to click through, here are a few selected sentences (they can't do the full effort justice, though):

• By combining physical Delivery Preparation solutions in automation and robotics with virtual IT solutions up and downstream in the ADF, this organization has closed the ADF physical/virtual loop.

• Key is an optimal physical workflow providing efficiency and tangible metrics while also encompassing the entire ADF and especially the Delivery Preparation physical element.

• As tray-based physical workflow is examined in Delivery Preparation, it becomes evident that movement of trays through the factory can become truly automated.

Sadly, the process being described probably has real value. But who can get to it? Truly, I defy any editor to turn this article into plain English.

-- scrubbed by Marketing Brillo

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